My 2nd Goal for 2015: I Want to Develop Better Discernment

black-woman-thinkingLast week, I shared that I would be working on owning myself in 2015. While that is my primary goal for the New Year, I have several others to add. My second goal in 2015 will be developing better discernment. That means, I want to be better at waiting for people to show me who they are before I believe them. Let me explain why this is so important.

I am one of those people who gets really excited about other people. I am an extrovert to the bone. This means that the people I keep around me actually have an impact on my happiness. It also means I’m drawn to folks with interesting personalities, quirky mannerisms, or other unique personal traits. For these reasons,  I typically end up embracing people I meet without properly questioning their intentions in their interactions with me, their historical biases, or other non-first impression-based attributes they may possess. In other words, I fall for people. I fall fast. And, I have been sorely burned by it…a lot.

Historically, I am that person who gets “friend dumped”. I have been dumped via email, text, and carrier pigeon (not really, but you know what I mean). In fact, it just happened to me (again) last week. This usually happens when I naively assume that someone has my back or cares for me like I care for them when in fact – for whatever reason – they don’t. Yes, I am usually the person who gets immediately blamed in these scenarios but, in retrospect, these folks usually come back to me and apologize for mistreating me. But, the real question is: why do I keep allowing these relationships to move past the point of no return anyway?